The woman and the wanderer

[Saint]

This is the story I entered for the competition but since a lot of you folks like a good story I thought I could share it here anyway too.


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The woman and the wanderer

The night was silent while the woman was laying on her bed at the inn where she were staying. The bed was uncomfortable and it was stingy but she couldn't complain she was happy enough that she could escape. She thought of that particular horrible night that she was captured from the castles garden. she didn't knew for how long she was captured but she knew it had to be at least 4 nights. She was lucky she could hit the magi who was leading her from her cell to somewhere she didn't knew with a stone. That magi was not paying attention, he probably thought she couldn't do him anything at their hideout.
A moment later there was a knock on the door, she wondered who it could be. Cautious as possible she walked to the door and tried to look between the cracks to see who she was dealing with. she could see a dark shape but not really who it could be. She didn't trusted it, it might be those who captured me, they are here to get me. That same moment while she rushed for her belongings she heard some weird tongue being spoken. The moment she jumped out of her window her door was evaporated. she ran across the stables, climbed down and found the stable boy dead on the ground. She prayed while she tried to find a horse with saddle. She couldn't find one, it wasn't a good moment to hesitate she thought so she picked a white mare jumped on it's back and rode out of the stables breaking it's gate. While she rode away she heard faint curses and the same dark shims were standing there where she just stood twenty seconds ago. She escaped them again, but if they could find her here then they could find her anywhere. There was no time to sleep any more she has to flee now as quick as possible, back to the castle.
She rode all night knowing that the magi would be trying to trace her. She didn't hoped that the powers of the magi were stronger with full moon like with the disciples from Banath. She knew she had to keep on riding even if it would kill the horse. She knew what the magi were capable off she knew of what horrors they had done to her family. They even killed her brother the heir to the Throne. She knew that if she would fall into the hands of those magi again she would die. Suddenly a black lighting struck a tree two inches next to her, the lighting was black, darker then the night darker then the darkest matter she knew. They were catching up onto her, she steered her horse to the left knowing it might gain her some extra seconds and distract her pursuers. Riding further into the forest she noticed her horse is at the end of his endurance, yet she went further and further, faster much faster. She had to go faster, again a bolt hit a tree and again. She was in big trouble if she didn't found the castle quick, really quick.
'Caleb get over here ! Has your squad already found something?' No sir, we haven't we have searched the whole surroundings.' Well, search faster we have to find to the Duke his daughter !' Ow and Caleb take one or two disciples I think some of those ravens are behind this.' yes sir, we will be on our way now.' Riding out with his squad he thought of the suggestion to take disciples with him we haven't heard anything of magi in 50 year but he has to find the daughter. We will go into the west flank again some scouts did found some strange tracks there let's see if we can find any clue of the attackers. Why did this had to happen today thought Caleb, why any day? The Duke had some enemies but not anywhere near and the attack was well thought off. They knew of the hidden passages in the castle and where to go. We have to find her we have to !
How long has it been she thought how long am I already riding? She didn't knew but she did knew she was almost in safety she could see some of the towers of the town. She always loved them, she had to be there and before tomorrow because if she won't make it, then well then it could be war. While riding some light of the moon felt on her scratched face she could see the field she could see safety. Out of nothing a black bolt flew against her horse she could hear it whinny before she collapsed against the ground. She knew it was over it was over. Like the bolt is became black before he eyes.
She woke up having Caleb standing next to her kneeled before her. 'What happened?' she asked. Caleb took a light breath 'well we heard a black void so we rode to the sound as fast as possible. When we arrived we only found you laying here on the ground. I have no Idea what kept those Ravens away but you were lucky. I hope they won't come back but we should return your father is worried.' The woman came up from the ground and felt something weird in her underwear something scratchy. She ignored it and climbed onto the horse Caleb gave to her and Caleb gave the sign to ride. My father she asked, does he know you guys have found me? Caleb showed one of his rare smiles it was a small one 'yes, he does know about it I have sent a scout to report it'. She felt relieved and worried at the same time, not knowing why.

It was early in the morning the sun was just rising. Caleb sent his men of to the barracks to get some rest and food and asked if the young woman needed some help getting of her horse. She accepted the help and got off the horse. While the sergeant escorted the daughter many people were looking at her. rumours spread quick and many thought they lost her to the magi. . Many people lost children to magi before the magi disappeared. The Daughter walked into throne room where her father was already waiting for her. Her father had to be strong not to let a tear from happiness when he saw her daughter. 'My child' he said, 'I know you are tired but you will have to tell me one thing before you go to bed'.' How did you escaped from the Ravens?' She told her father the story about how she managed to steal a horse and her ride trough the forest. She told him they gave up when she entered our plains and her horse fell not long after. 'I have to think about the things you have told me my child, please go to bed and tell me everything tomorrow' her father said.
When she entered her room she took off her dress to get rid of the annoying thing between her legs what was bothering her the whole ride. When she took of her underwear she noticed a small letter fell onto the ground. She picked it up not exactly knowing what to expect. but she started reading " As you probably already know you are still alive, how wonderful isn't it? Yet the only reason you live is thanks to me, well you are probably already wondering who I am. Right? I think you already know who I am, but you will find my name soon enough. I will make this quick, you are supposed to be dead. Well luckily for you I saved your life. Like I gave life to you, you will do it to a child, well at least in 9 months.
Kind regards,
The wanderer "

I've heard about this person in fairy tales she thought, he saves someone his life in return for a favour. Many of the great magi were a child from this mythical figure and now she is bearing one. She had to do something and do it quick or else she will give birth to one of Cearus most powerful magi.

[freakd]

there will be community awards, so I guess they will publish all or at least most stories there ^^

[Saint]

there will be community awards, so I guess they will publish all or at least most stories there ^^

Oh well I suppose, but people always some extra lore so even though it isn't real 'lore' I think my story is quite neat. But some constructive criticism is always welcome.

[karmastate]

i like the symbology of life as a cycle and somethingt hat can be paid and collected on : )

[Saint]

bump for you narrow minded people.

[Morbus]

bump for you narrow minded people.

My mind is extremely open! In fact, I get accused of being far too accepting and understanding on a regular basis, good sir!

[Saint]

My mind is extremely open! In fact, I get accused of being far too accepting and understanding on a regular basis, good sir!

Well I was actually referring to the devs who didn't thought my story was good. Just to have a valid reason to bump it . Sorry if you felt accused.

[Kerryanne Leach]

Well I was actually referring to the devs who didn't thought my story was good. Just to have a valid reason to bump it . Sorry if you felt accused.

I am sorry that you feel this way Saint. I enjoy reading everything that is submitted, and the fact that there has been no comment by a 'red tag' as yet should not be taken as a negative.
As for constructive criticism, there isn't much to pick at other than a few grammatical errors which everyone makes, myself included.
If truth be told your story reminded me of something I read, possibly last year or the year before that, and I've been scratching my head about it a great deal, desperately trying to remember what it was lol. However, the reason it seems somehow familiar is that could easily be something that I would throw into a storyline, or it could simply be that fantasy fiction, myth and religion are all replete with such miraculous or supernatural impregnations Do not be so despondent, there were many others that were not commented upon and you should not take it as a slight

[Bella_Fein]

+1 and A for effort. Haha! Just kidding! Good job Saint!

[Saint]

<3 my trust in you guys has been revived you make this old man proud !